The abuse of women in Saudi Arabia

Tags

Abuse, Middle East, Saudi Arabia, Women's Rights

Today I read a story about women in Saudi Arabia. The article said that we should celebrate because for the first time women in that country could vote and that 130,000 women registered to vote.

The article called this a victory for women’s rights. I mean sure, women in that country still can’t drive a car or go out of the house alone and without the permission of their husband’s buy baby steps, eh?

Well then I got to wondering, is 130,000 women a big number? It sounds big by itself, but 130,000 out of what? I mean how many women really lived in Saudi Arabia? So I Googled it and it said that Saudi Arabia had a total population of about 28.83 million as of 2013 and that about 44% of those people were female. So that means that there are almost 13 million females out there and that was as of 2013. The population has grown in the last two years.

So what we are talking here is less than 1% of the total female population in the country registered to vote.

Some people may argue that it’s a symbolic step in the right direction.

I say it’s a joke! A horrible horrible joke that we are celebrating the 1% of women who registered to vote when the other 99% of them were either not allowed to, or to scared for their lives to do so!

This isn’t something to celebrate. This is something to be outraged over.

You might think there is nothing you can do to help those women all the way over in the middle East but you would be wrong. You can make a conscience decision not to support any person or company who does any sort of business of any kind with anyone in Saudi Arabia.

Show the world that you aren’t going to stand by and let this kind of abuse towards females happen. You are going to do the right thing, by speaking with your pocket book!

People may not give a crap about what we have to say but I promise you, they do care about your money.

 

 

Advertisements

Gender Identity vs Racial Identity

Tags

Bruce Jenner, Caitlyn Jenner, Gender Identity, Rachel Dolezal, Racial Identity

When former Olympian Bruce Jenner announced he was going to be come a woman, the world seemed to rejoice in her bravery.

They were quick to point out that you now called him a her because he is now a she.

Basically it’s a process that all started with the fact that a man identified with another gender.

Okay I get that. I’m on board with this whole process and I understand it – at least at a very basic level.

Many people the world over were quick to condemn other people who did not allow Bruce Jenner (now Caitlyn Jenner) to be whoever she wanted to be. I think that’s great too. People should have the freedom to be what or whoever they want to be. Right?

But then something very interesting happened. That something interesting was a woman by the name of Rachel Dolezal.

She was born white female but said she identified not with a different gender, but a different race.

People freaked out. Not just a little but in the most insane way. Unlike Caitlyn Jenner, Rachel Dolezal didn’t make millions and millions of dollars with her “change”. She lost her job, is now dead broke and facing insane criticism and bullying from people all over the world.

Apparently it’s okay to change genders, but not a race.

But why?

That is something that has me most curious. So I asked. I didn’t want to offend anybody, I just wanted to know …

Why is it okay for Bruce Jenner to become a women but not okay for Rachel Dolezal to become black?

I got some answers I didn’t understand or where quite honestly offended by.

“You can’t just become black. You have to be born black.”

Okay … but Bruce Jenner wasn’t born a women. He became one. So what’s the difference?

“You can’t understand what’s it like to be black unless you grow up black. We go through things a white person would never understand.”

Okay … so are you saying that women don’t grow up and have to go through things that men don’t or couldn’t possibly ever understand?

Trust me — we do. No matter what you say, there will always be things that a woman goes through that a man just can’t ever understand.

Can a man ever really understand what it’s like to get your first period? Or the painful experience of growing up with boobs? Or the harassment we get by men every single day? Or the the way that we are paid less than men (typically women earn $.76 for every $1 a man earns for doing the exact same job).

Can a man every really understand what it feels like to get pregnant and then lose that child through miscarriage? Can a man understand that 90% of the time when you are talking to a male in any social setting they are staring at your boobs and not listening to a word you say?

Does a man know what it’s like to find out that they can’t travel to certain countries – quite a few of them mind you, yes even in today’s day and age, alone or without covering their body from head to toe? Hell no a man doesn’t because men in our society don’t have those restrictions but women do.

These and many others are all things you can only understand if you were born a female, because only females go through them. Yet it’s still okay for a man to transition into a women. And I’m seriously okay with that. A person should feel free to be whomever they want to be.

So why can’t a white person transition into a black one? What is the difference between gender and racial identity? How is one okay but not the other?

I really really really really really don’t understand it.

Bruce Jenner is in fact now a women (even legally so) and that’s okay. Good for her! That’s her thing. She wanted to become a woman and most of society has accepted her decision to become a women.

So why are those same people condemning Rachel Dolezal for wanting to be known as what she most identifies with?

I think the worst part of all this is, Rachel Dolezal spent years of her life helping black people have a better life. She dedicated hours and hours and hours, day in and out for years helping black people through her job at the NAACP. In fact she was so good at what she did and helped so many that she eventually became the chapter president.

What has Caitlyn Jenner (either since or before the transition) ever done to advance the cause of women’s rights?

I’m sorry but I just don’t get the difference.

I really don’t understand why a man can become a women (or a woman can become a man) but a white person can’t become black?

Explain it to me please because up until now I have yet to find anyone with a valid reasoning.

Is it because black people have to face things growing up like discrimination? Well so do women. Try facing that same discrimination while bleeding our your yin/yang 5 days a month.

So if that’s not the reason, then tell me what is?

I want to know what the difference is that a man can become a women – or a woman can become a man — but a white person can’t become black!

So I invite you to please tell me what you think (in the comments below). Share this post with your friends and family and ask them to tell me what they think too because I really want to know.

Apparently my brain just isn’t capable of understanding the difference. So enlighten me.

 

This is the real-life Ken? Says who??

Tags

Barbie, Ken, Real-Life Barbie, Real-Life Ken

Lately all I’ve been hearing about is this real life Barbie doll, (some A Ukrainian model) who while she may be insane, she does in fact look a lot like a real barbie doll.

 

But this Ken? Seriously?

When I was a little girl I loved playing Barbies and the first thing that came to mind when I heard about a real life Ken, was how much the guy looked nothing like Ken. I couldn’t quite get why nobody else has pointed it out yet?

How is this guy anything like Ken? The most obvious things that come to mind ….

Ken was a blonde.

Ken was known for his alabaster skin.

Ken has blue eyes.

Some people say, well there was a brunette Ken. True, but the only difference between brown hair and blonde hair Ken was the color of their hair. This guy looks like neither of them. So why in the world is the media giving this freak with obvious mental issues so much attention?

If he actually looked like Ken, okay then but clearly he doesn’t.

That’s like going up to the crazy guy on the corner saying he’s the second coming of Jesus and then reporting what he has to say as if he really was the 2nd coming of Jesus.

In other words — just because this weirdo says he’s the real life Ken doesn’t make it so. Just use your eyes. Obviously anyone can see he’s not.

Can we be done with this nut job already?

Is the Hunger Games the next Twilight?

Tags

Bella Swan, Edward Cullen, Harry Potter, Hunger Games, Katniss Everdeen, Twilight, Twilight Saga

There is no doubt that Twilight was a huge success. It doesn’t matter if you love or hate it, in the end what you can’t dispute is the insane amount of money the franchise made.

So the question now becomes, is the Hunger Games the next Twilight? Was Twilight the next Harry Potter? I mean, sure they were movies based on books, but beyond that what did they really have in common? Harry Potter was a book about tween Wizards, while Twilight was a book about teenaged Vampires.

So what about the Hunger Games?

The Hunger Games couldn’t be less like Twilight or Harry Potter for that matter, if it tried.

While the story does feature teens, there are no super natural beings in the Hunger Games at all. There are no witches, werewolves, wizards or trolls.  The Hunger Games is based on reality, or a version of it, set in the future.

Twilight was a love story and everything that happened in the entire Twilight sage was based on the love between Bella and Edward and everything they went through. This is why when you went to the movie theater to watch one of the Twilight movies, you pretty much found that the male to female ratio was like 1:25.

The Hunger Games includes a love story but it also is heavy on the action and that attracts a wider male audience.

I think that while all three stories are good, Hunger Games in the end will attract a wider audience and therefore end up making more money.

Do I think that one is better than the other? That’s hard to say. I really liked all the Harry Potter, Twilight and Hunger Games books in their own way.

To me that’s like saying which is better pink or green? What I think is irrelevant because you may like the other color better.

They are all great. They really are – just in very different ways.

Related articles

• The Hunger Games (shannconrad.wordpress.com)
• The Twilight Saga (bethandbooks.wordpress.com)
• The Hunger Games (kailiabonita.wordpress.com)
• ‘The Hunger Games: Mockingjay’ rumored to be filming in England (examiner.com)

What’s the difference between Romance and Erotic Fiction?

Tags

BDSM, Erotic Fiction, Erotic literature, Erotica, Fifty Shades of Grey, Love, Plus One, Romance, Romance Novel

A good friend asked me an interesting question the other day which was, what is the difference between romance and erotic fiction or erotica as some call it?

Some people will tell you it is the size of the book that matters, that erotica is smaller while romance novels are full length. That actually is not the case at all. in this particular instance, size doesn’t matter.

Oh come on, you know that was funny!

There can be full length erotic fiction, such as 50 Shades of Grey. Heck that’s even a trilogy. And just as there can be full length erotica, there can also be shorter romance novels, such as the case in the recently released Plus One. It’s a love story about a girl who after a string of really bad dates decides to make a pact with a childhood friend to be her plus one at a series of upcoming events she has to attend in the next three months, mostly weddings and whatnot. Only what she didn’t know is that childhood friend has secretly been in love with her all of his life and well now she is about to see him in a different light. Okay it’s not exactly the best romance story I ever read but still, the point is the story was short and it was a romance novel. So length has nothing to do with it.

But if length doesn’t determine the category, then what does? It’s simple, it is the story itself.

A romance novel is about a romantic story. The book, no matter how long or short, must revolve around some sort of romantic tale. Sure the people in the story could have relations, could even be hot and steamy but in the end it’s still a story about love.

Erotic Fiction is a story that revolves around sex. For example, 50 Shades of Grey, while it has a story, a detailed one, it still a story that revolves around the sexual relationship of the parties involved. So that is what makes it erotica. Actually in that case, because of the type of sex involved it’s a sub category of erotica known as Erotic Fiction: BDSM or Adult: Erotica: BDSM.

Anyway the point is, a romance novel is a story about people who fall in love or are in love. The story revolves around their lives and what happens, the good, the bad and yes, sometimes the naughty. Where as erotic fiction is a story about sex. There may be other parts to it, but in the end, it’s still a story heavily based on sexual relations, sexual locations, sexual feelings and desires. Sex drives the story, not love.

So now you know the difference between a romance novel and erotica.

Related articles

• Which sells better, romance novels or erotic fiction? (indieauthortalk.wordpress.com)

What is a resume and why is it so important?

Tags

Career, Curriculum Vitae, CV, Job Search, Resume

My young niece asked me a strange question the other day.  Well, strange to me because I just assumed everyone knew the answer to her question.  She wanted to know what a resume was.  I was floored … how did she not know this?  Then again she’s only 14 so how would she know?  So it is for her and those like her, I present this information.

A resume is sometimes called a CV or a Curriculum Vitae, which stands for “path of life”.

A CV differs from a resume only slightly in that one of the key characteristics of a proper resume is conciseness.  A CV is far more comprehensive than your standard resume. A CV elaborates on education to a far greater degree than a resume. Such content is inappropriate in a typical resume as a prospective employer would usually deem this information as burdensome. 

A resume is a one- to two-page document summarizing your career objectives, professional experiences and achievements, and educational background. The heading of the resume should contain your name, address and contact information. The body of the resume should be broken into the following sections: career objective, profile/summary, professional experience, achievements, scholastics, and references. Your career objective should be brief, up to two sentences; it should give your potential employers an idea of how you wish to move forward in your professional life. A concise profile or a summary should discuss who you are and how your skills and experience best apply to the job you are interested in. The summary, as well as other parts of your resume, should not contain personal information that discloses ethnicity, sexual orientation, marital status, age, living situations, or any other personal information that is not directly related to your career. Personal profile/summary should only contain a few well-written sentences that convey what you can bring to the table in terms of the specific job. Use this section to attract the employer’s attention, but don’t go overboard in trying to be creative – stay professional. Your experience listing should include information on one to five jobs you’ve held, starting with your current or last job, and listing previous positions in chronological order.

The listing should include the date range of your employment, name of the companies or person(s) you have worked for, and the city and state where the place of employment is located (full address of employment is not necessary). List your title and your main responsibilities, with emphasis on duties that are applicable to the type of work you are seeking. Your education should include college, graduate and post-graduate work, as well as any courses or professional certifications that are relevant to your career development. Achievements, volunteer positions, publications and interests should only be listed if they apply to your professional work experience References should be listed if requested; best practices suggest not to list generic statements about references being available upon request as this is understood.

In the competitive, internet-driven world of job searches, your resume represents you to potential employers. It serves as your tool to attract attention, get the interview and/or get a job. A great resume will make you stand out from other candidates by showcasing your aptitudes. Think of your resume as your sales pitch – you need to sell yourself in the best possible way. Invest some time and research into developing your resume. You will want to make sure that your resume is error free – double check your grammar and spelling, make sure that all company and school names and cities are spelled properly. A resume containing errors, no matter how minimal, will give your potential employer an impression that you do not have attention to detail, that you don’t take time to double check your work, and that you are a poor communicator. Additionally, make sure that your resume is formatted well. Stick to basic fonts, like Arial and Times New Roman. Keep the font size and color standard; don’t use large fonts or multi-colors in your resume. Don’t go overboard with bold, italicized, or large-cap text. Keep your format consistent and make sure that the resume looks great when viewed online as well as when printed out. Keep your resume to one or two pages – any additional pages give an impression that you either don’t know how to concisely summarize your education and experience, or that you are listing unnecessary information for the sake of taking up space. If you’ve never written a resume before, reference books, Internet resources or seek assistance from a professional resume writing service. A well-written resume can make a difference between being stuck at your current job and getting an interview to land the job of your dreams.

Things to know before using Fiverr

Tags

$5, Bad Fiverr Jobs, Five Bucks, Fiverr, Fiverr Exploits, Fiverr Scam, Fraud, India, Pakistan, Wordpress

For those of you that don’t know, there is a website out there called Fiverr and basically the idea is that those listed will do anything for five bucks.  Now keep in mind by anything I mean, the thing they have listed.

For example … “I will _sing you a song_ for five bucks” or “I will _film myself jumping up and down while shouting you name_ for five bucks”.  The things people will do for five bucks is rather mind blowing.

I couldn’t begin to list them all but what I can do are provide you with some tips from my own experience on using the site that might help you avoid some of the pitfalls.

While the basic concept of the site is for a person to offer their services for give bucks, the site has begun to grow and people are now offer basic services for $5 with enhancements for for.  For example, I could pay someone $5 to write the first 300 words of this very blog post or for $5 more they would double the offer and write the first 600 words of this post.

Sounds simple enough, right?  Well for the most part it is and most of the ads are clearly stated so that you know in advance what you are getting for you $5.

However like all good things there are always going to be those jack asses that ruin it.  So tip #1 when using Fiverr.  Look up at the person’s name who is offering to do something for you.  If you see an international flag, especially those from Pakistan or India, you might want to think twice about placing that order.  Almost every fraud or negative story I’ve heard about on Fiverr is because of a provider who came from one of those two countries, mostly Pakistan.

Tip #1 Don’t always trust the reviews.  If you see a person who has no negative reviews one would assume that means they are great at what they do, right?  Not necessarily.  There is a way with the Fiverr system to work around those negative reviews and get them removed so some people may seem great but really they are the worst.

I want to give you a perfect example of a user who abuses the Fiverr system and could cost you money and in return you get nothing but a hassle.

Here is a guy who says “I will modify your wordpress blog/website as per your needs for $5”.

That sounds great, right?  If you look under his name it even says he’s rated 100%.  Now to me 100% rating means that every person he’s ever done business with rated him well.  Great, right?  Wrong.

Because this person isn’t rated 100%.   Not really.  It’s a flaw within the Fiverr system, something this user is exploiting.

Notice his rating shows 2 negative reviews.  How can one have two negative reviews and still have a 100% rating?  That’s problem one.  Problem number two, the math doesn’t add up.  If this person has sold 1,179 people this job, how can then 193 people review his job?  He has 193 EXTRA positive reviews from people who didn’t buy his $5 “gig” as they call it.  Clearly an exploit of the system.

If a person does 10 jobs then he should have no more than 10 ratings.  This person has more customers than jobs done.

But that still isn’t the biggest problem with this guy.

The biggest problem is the bait and switch scam.  He offers to fix your wordpress blog or theme for five dollars.  It clearly says so in his ad in big bold letters.  That’s the first thing you see, I will modify your wordpress blog/website as per your needs for $5.

But once the guy collects your money you know what he does?  Nothing.  He contacts you to let you know that your job is to complicated and will require more of his time and as such he will need more money.  And that could be anywhere from $20 to $50.  He didn’t actually do anything for the original $5 he got from you and you got nothing out of it.  But he doesn’t give that money back.  So you just paid a guy $5 for nothing.

So instead what do you do?  You give him negative feedback, right?  Exactly what I did.  Only about a week later I noticed something.  I noticed my negative feedback disappeared from his page.  I put negative feedback on his page again and checked it about 24 hours later and it was gone again.

The Fiverr support department said they were sorry, that the guy contacted them and asked them to remove it so they did but they will note my account and not remove it again without my permission.

My thought on this is, why the hell is Fiverr support removing negative feedback??!  The reason they have the feedback system in the first place is to protect us consumers.  Clearly this is a big fail on Fiverr’s part and an issue they really need to address in the near future.  As Fiverr continues to grow this problem will only get worse.

Next the guy contacted me immediately demanding I remove my negative feedback or I will get banned from Fiverr.  I can’t believe he actually threatened me, but he did.  And this I remind you is the guy that Fiverr removed my negative feedback from, not because they thought it might be inaccurate, but just because he asked them to.

This user told me that “Fiverr doesn’t tolerate people like me” that they know where their money comes from, which are top people like him and if I don’t remove my negative feedback he will get my account banned, that “Fiverr has done it before and they will do it again“.

I didn’t care.  I wasn’t backing down.  So you know how the guy finally got my negative feedback off of his page?  After all else failed he cancelled my job which then means there was no job to complete and therefore I was not entitled to leave him feedback.

I never forgot that experience with Fiverr and used that experience to do much more research into the process.  Don’t get me wrong, I actually really do like Fiverr a lot, now I’m just much more careful in who I do business with on there.  Just because it’s only $5 I’m out, isn’t an excuse to me.  That’s MY $5.  I earned that money and I’m not just going to give it away.

So the first thing I should have noticed on this guy’s post is that his flag under his name shows he is from Pakistan.

If you Google enough stories about Fiverr you will learn that almost every single report of fraud comes from Pakistan with a handful from India.  So now when I want a job done, I avoid booking “gigs” from any provider from those two countries.  I hate to say that but I’m sorry.  Just to much fraud for me to risk it.  It’s my money and I don’t want to just give it away.

The next thing I do is the math.  I look at the number of jobs they have done versus how many reviews they have.  If they have more people giving them positive reviews than actual jobs done, then clearly there is some sort of fraud going on and as such, I avoid those people as well.  If they have 5 jobs done, then only 5 people max should be able to review them.

The next thing I do is look carefully at the job description.  While the ad listing may clearly state what it is that person will do for $5, sometime their description will give hints that there may be extra charges involved.  If they even remotely sound like that is the case, I also avoid booking a job with that person.

I like to keep my things short and simple.  I want a job done ,I’ll give you $5.  You do the job you said you would do for the amount of money you said you would do it, in the given time frame and I’m happy.

If I want “extras” from you for more money than you should have clearly provided me that information up front when I placed my order and had I been interested in those job extras, I would have ordered them at that time.

It’s not uncommon for a person by the way to offer a job extra.

Here is a good example.  This guy says he will “write A Compelling 30 Seconds Script For Your Video Testimonial for $5” and for an extra $10 he will write you a 45 second video script, which is in addition to the original 30 seconds you already ordered for $5.

Another common gig extra is to delivery the job in 24 hours.

The point is, if you want to charge me extra for things then I want to know what those extra fees are in advance and if I am interested in those services for that extra money then I will order it at the time I place my order.  Telling me you want more money after the fact only pisses people off.

So now you know some things to look for when using Fiverr.  I really do mean it when I say I love Fiverr.  It’s a great site.  I absolutely can’t get enough of it.  In fact, I got some great recipes for $5 from there last night.  Just be careful and always remember if some guy from Pakistan is offering you something that sounds to good to be true for $5, chances are he is going to take your money and run.

What about the pledge of Liberty?

Tags

American, American Flag, Continental Congress, Facebook, Francis Bellamy, Freedom, Liberty, Pledge of Allegiance, Religon, United States, USA

I read something today on Facebook that just rubbed me the wrong way.

I’m an American.  I’m even a Christian but what I am not is someone who likes to shove my beliefs down other people’s throats.

If you don’t believe in God, or my God then that doesn’t make you any less of an American than I am.  It just means you have a different religious belief than me.

If you don’t respect MY God, it doesn’t mean you aren’t an American, it just means you have your own beliefs and that to me is what American was founded on, religious tolerance.  How did these so called “Good Christians” forget the part about religious tolerance when they are on their soap box about what a good American should be?

What got me on my rampage about religious tolerance?  In a post 9-11 world there always seems to be some sort of post on Facebook from those high and mighty good Christians about how you need to think to be a real American.  Here is the post I seen today that really just put a bee in my bonnet.

Everybody, let’s do this (and NBC – this one’s for you!) … We should flood Facebook with this …. “I pledge allegiance ot the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands: one nation under GOD, indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for all”.  RE-POST IF YOU THINK GOD, OUR COUNTRY, OUR FLAG, AND OUR MILITARY DESERVE RESPECT!!!! ….. Let’s just see how many AMERICANS will repost.

The irony of this post is this person wants to get on their soap box about the use of GOD in the pledge of allegiance, but what about the other word just after that “Liberty”.  People love to talk about how our country is all “under God” but what about the part where we pledge liberty and justice for all?

Liberty for those who don’t know means, the right to choose: the freedom to think or act without being constrained by necessity or force.

Isn’t the pledge of liberty just as important or more so than pledging to have an entire nation under God?
I mean that could mean anything.  It doesn’t say MY God or whose God.  So just because someone doesn’t have the same beliefs as you, doesn’t mean they aren’t an American.  Because they have the same rights to believe what they want as you do, with their God.

I don’t know about you but I’m sick and tired of people implying I’m not American if I don’t believe what they believe.  And what the hell does any of that have to do with respecting for our men at arms?  These people are such disgusting hypocrites it just makes me sick.

Being a real American is about the freedom to have your own thoughts and not try and force yours down our throats.   So please do everyone a favor already and shut the hell up!

Speaking of the pledge of allegiance, here is the history of it.  It’s actually very interesting.

I pledge Allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for all.

“I pledge allegiance” (I promise to be true)

“to the flag” (to the symbol of our country)

“of the United States of America” (each state that has joined to make our country)

“and to the Republic” (a republic is a country where the people choose others to make laws for them — the government is “of, by and for” the people)

“for which it stands,” (the flag means the country)

“one nation” (a single country)

“under God,” (the people believe in a supreme being)

“indivisible,” (the country cannot be split into parts)

“with Liberty and Justice” (with freedom and fairness)

“for all.” (for each person in the country…you and me!)

The pledge says you are promising to be true to the United States of America!

The original Pledge of Allegiance was written by Francis Bellamy. It was first given wide publicity through the official program of the National Public Schools Celebration of Columbus Day, which was printed in The Youth’s Companion of September 8, 1892, and at the same time sent out in leaflet form to schools throughout the country. School children first recited the Pledge of Allegiance this way:

“I pledge allegiance to my Flag and to the Republic for which it stands one Nation indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for all.”

“The flag of the United States” replaced the words “my Flag” in 1923 because some foreign-born people might have in mind the flag of the country of their birth instead of the United States flag. A year later, “of America” was added after “United States.”

No form of the Pledge received official recognition by Congress until June 22, 1942, when the Pledge was formally included in the U.S. Flag Code. The official name of The Pledge of Allegiance was adopted in 1945. The last change in language came on Flag Day 1954, when Congress passed a law, which added the words “under God” after “one nation.”

Originally, the pledge was said with the right hand in the so-called “Bellamy Salute,” with the right hand resting first outward from the chest, then the arm extending out from the body. Once Hitler came to power in Europe, some Americans were concerned that this position of the arm and hand resembled the Nazi or Fascist salute. In 1942 Congress also established the current practice of rendering the pledge with the right hand over the heart.

The Flag Code specifies that any future changes to the pledge would have to be with the consent of the President.

On June 14, 1777, in order to establish an official flag for the new nation, the Continental Congress passed the first Flag Act: “Resolved, That the flag of the United States be made of thirteen stripes, alternate red and white; that the union be thirteen stars, white in a blue field, representing a new Constellation.”

Bad Customer Service Can Be Quite Costly

Tags

Bad Service, Customer Service, Difficult Customers, Insurance Claims

Who hasn’t had a bad day? I mean come on … we are all human after all. Well today I had one of those days. I had a small kitchen fire about three weeks ago. In that time I’ve been going through the long and incredibly boring and frustrating process of dealing with the insurance company.

Because I have no kitchen right now I’ve had to eat out quite a bit lately. Two different representatives from the insurance company told me to hold on to my receipts when I ate out and they’ll cover the cost of the meals, “within reason”. In other words, they will cover means up to a certain amount per day.

So today I was gathering my receipts from those meals. I was preparing to mail in my meal receipts for reimbursement and I gave my adjuster a quick call before dropping the envelope of receipts in the mail. He explained that reimbursement was actually for 50% of meals and not 100%. While a partial adjustment made sense to me, I clearly recalled two company representatives promising to “cover meals plus sales tax.” I was fine with 50% coverage. I just wanted this whole mess over with and behind me but I do recall very clearly two different people from my insurance company tell me they would cover the cost of my meals so I mentioned it just one more time.

My adjuster became sarcastic and defensive in both his words and overall tone when he said, “No one in this company would have told you we cover 100% of meals because we don’t. We never have. Our policy is to cover 50%.”

Again like I said before I would have been more than happy with the 50% because all of this really has just been exhausting but the guy was really a jerk and I know I’m not wrong on this. Not one but two different people said they would cover all of my meals and the sales tax up to a certain amount per day, per person in my family. I didn’t just imagine this, two completely different times.

So I pulled together my notes, which luckily for me I had written down the names of every person in the company I had spoken with including the dates and times. I wrote up a letter of complaint, including all of my information and who I spoke to on what date and who told me what and when.

Here’s the lesson here: Had the claims adjuster done and said the right things during my initial phone call, the company would have been able to resolve this problem with a simple explanation and apology. Instead, they paid out nearly $423 more than they had to and had to spend 10 minutes listening to my case.  $423 here and $423 there, it can all add up over time and in the end could be costing the company a lot of money that it didn’t need to.  Bottom line is, had the guy not been a rude jerk to me, I wouldn’t have been so motivated to prove my case.

This costly scenario is played out countless times every day throughout the service sector because employees don’t know how to communicate with upset customers with diplomacy and tact and in such a way that creates calm and goodwill.

In my case, had the claims adjuster responded with, “What we were trying to explain is that your policy covers 50% of your meals plus sales tax. You would have been out of expenses for meals even if you had not experienced the regretful fire. We try to minimize your inconvenience during your loss by covering expenses above and beyond your normal meal expenses. Does this make sense? I’m so sorry for any inconvenience this misunderstanding has caused you.”

This approach certainly made sense and I would have very likely accepted the 50% policy. But instead, the claim adjuster’s attitude incited me and I was determined to accept nothing but full reimbursement. The wrong approach to an already upset customer only makes them more forceful and often results in a much higher payout from the company. I don’t want you to have to pay one dollar more than you absolutely have to and to help you manage costs better I’ll give you 5 things not to do with upset customers.

1. Don’t tell a customer they are wrong. Telling your customer he is wrong arouses opposition and will make the customer want to battle with you. It’s difficult, under even the most benign situations to change people’s minds. So why make your job harder by starting out on the wrong foot.

2. Don’t argue with a customer. You can never win an argument with your customers. Certainly, you can prove your point and even have the last word, you may even be right, but as far as changing your customer’s mind is concerned, you will probably be just as futile as if you were wrong.

3. Don’t speak with authoritative tone as if you have to prove the customer wrong. Even when the customer is wrong, this is not an appropriate response, as it will put the customer on the defense.

4. Don’t say, “We would never do that.” Instead try, “Tell me about that.”

5. Don’t be afraid to apologize. Offer an apology even when the customer is at fault. An apology is not admission of fault. It can be offered to express regret. For example, “I’m so sorry for any inconvenience this misunderstanding has caused you.”

Never forget in problem situations the issue is not the issue. The way the issue is handled becomes the issue.

In the future the company should probably invest a little more money on training employees in good manners, instead of paying that cash out to pissed off customers.